


Love Bug

by jazzy2may



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 08:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2380904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzy2may/pseuds/jazzy2may
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every year he runs away and still it comes back, the love bug is determined to make Iruka fall in love. This year is Iruka's year for love. Valentine's Day fic.<br/>Don't like, don't read.<br/>Iru/Kashi 2-prt, One-Shot.<br/>SlashFic, Yaoi, M/M Love.<br/>Complete!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Bug comes to Town

Disclaimer: All Characters and Rights Belong to Masashi Kishimoto, Shōnen Jump magazine, Studio Pierrot and Aniplex, TV Tokyo, and Viz Media.

 

THE LOVE BUG  
Written by: Jazzy  
Pairing: Iruka/Kakashi  
Characters: Ibiki, Abarame, Kakashi, Iruka, the LOVE BUG  
Warning: Silly Fic, (Yaoi, Slash, M/M Coupling.)  
If you don't like fics like this please do not read or flame me.  
Thank you.  
Genre: Humor/Romance  
Rating: T  
Words: 3575  
Status: Complete

 

* * *

 

PART ONE

He was taking a shower. He was in a very happy mood. He was going to meet Naruto for Ramen; he was going to give his little pre-genins a pop quiz. His sadistic streak enjoyed that sort of thing, payback for all the trouble those little cuties gave him every day, and all the grief he had to go through just to teach a single lesson, damned right! He loved giving those monsters pop quizzes.

He was singing in his shower and soaping up in some nice spicy soap when he felt a presence. A familiar presence, a presence that wasn't due for another week or so, it wasn't even February yet. He felt his ears twitch. He felt his back twitch. He rinsed off then did the transport Jutsu after snagging his towel. He appeared on his roof. Buff and in a towel, hair wet and left undone. His muscles gleamed in the cold sunlight and he shivered but channeled chakra and warmed himself then he began to run for his self-preservation.

There it was alright hot and fast on his trail. The Love Bug! Iruka growled. Frowning as he ran. It was early this year.

People stopped in their tracks as the school teacher ran for all he was worth, naked but for the skirt-like towel at his waist...

"Give up Iruka Umino, for this Year You are getting Bitten by the Loooooovvvvvve BUG!" It cried.

"The Hell I am." Screamed Iruka. Iruka ran even faster if that was possible. There was no way in hell he was going to fall in love or fall to the likes of the love bug or cupid or any number of its little army of love fanatics allies.

Salvation! Abarame San! If anyone can control the love bug it would be the bug master clan.

Iruka leaped and hugged onto the back of Shino's dad. "Abarame-san, save me." He cried, near tears.

 

* * *

 

Shino felt his jaw drop and the food on his chopsticks never made it into his mouth. His Dad seemed familiar with this side of Iruka Sensei. Abarame-san sighed, patted Iruka's bare back and said some words of comfort to his friend.

Who knew Iruka had a body like that under all of his clothes. There were tattoos, there were scars, and there were muscles, oh hell, there was a gorgeous body under those chunin clothes.

Abarame-san looked to his son and warned him. "Guard your heart, the love Bug is definitely back in town. Those feelings you feel; those are just the beginnings, those are pheromones put out by the love bug to find a possible mate desirable, Shino. Do not allow it to overwhelm you."

Then Abarame-san turned from his son and returned to comforting the distraught barely clothed Iruka.

"Do not worry Iruka-sensei. This nuisance will not bother you, I promise." Abarame-san smiled, returning the sweet smile that Iruka had turned on him. A smile that seemed to shave off ten years and made Iruka look again like the genin he used to be. Trust still sparkling in his beautiful dark eyes. Glowing skin. Beaming, beaming smile.

Abarame-san felt a pain enter his chest. Iruka really was beautiful it was very puzzling that the chunin ran so hard and fast away from love.

"Buzz, buzz, love, love, la-de-da." Sang the love bug, its glaring red shell with white hearts and black stripes of musical notes decorated it, with antennae long and humming with little hearts at the ends, and crystal wings that carried it a loft. It was a somewhat eye shattering yet somehow soothing sight. It had a giant smile on its bug face and it was scaring Iruka to death.

"It’s coming closer." Gasped Iruka, near hysterics.

Iruka really couldn't handle giant bugs. Not since he was trapped that one time in that catacomb for two days covered and crawling with insects. The youth had been horribly traumatized for life. Abarame-san was always sad about that. Iruka would have made a cute wife, a good counterpart, a good fit, usually serene but for his temperament, level headed except in immortal terror (which didn't come along very often, just around valentine's day) Iruka would have made a perfectly fine mate except for the fact that he couldn't have bugs anywhere near him.

"Alright, Love Bug. Not another step." Warned Abarame-san. In a loud threatening voice. His own bugs began to hum a song of warning right back at the love bug. Shino was impressed. He'd never seen his father react so strongly or so loudly.

The love bug sent out soothing scents and the bugs began to be soothed against their wills. Abarame-san frowned. "The Love Bug's a tough opponent Iruka-sensei."

Iruka scowled. "Never mind, I'll deal with it myself. Though I would think you would have some mastery over it after all you are a bug Master."

Abarame-san bowed his head in shame. "I am sorry Iruka-sensei; please do not be angry with me."

"YOOWHOOO IRUKA I've found you-whooo." Called the love bug, happily.

Iruka shuttered. "Alright, I've warned you Love Bug, you give me no choice. This year you breathe your last. This year you've given out your last box of chocolates your last batch of a dozen roses, your last candlelit romance dinner, oh yeah, today, you're gonna die."

Iruka began to form seals, the dragon tattoo on his leg that reached up his hip began to writhe, and black began to glow with blue-tinged, fire light. Shurikan which he'd snatched from Abarame-san began to glow with that blue fire as well.

"I will burn you and cast your ashes into hell." Growled Iruka. Shadows began to play across his features. His hair was swept up by sudden gusting winds. His chakra began to grow and then expand to the shurikan making them flame with black fire. Iruka's eyes glowed almost maniac glee. The shurikan homed in on the Love bug.

"Flaming Sting of a Thousand Scorpions, burn that bug into the darkest depth of painful eternal hell."

"Oh you!" squeeed the love bug, beaming smile. All of a sudden there were a lot of fluttering hearts whirring and flying around the bug, white, pink, red, all the colors of love and passion. "A shield of Love surrounds me." Sang the love Bug, beaming with even more intense glowing love.

Iruka shuttered again and watched his shurikan fall to the ground black fire sputtered, twitched, then died turned to hearts and flowers, roses and carnations. "Ugh! AWWWWWW." Screamed Iruka, in frustration. "Fine, I didn't want to do this. Next level."

Another tattoo this time from shoulder blade to heart began to glow. Iruka's hair seemed to have life of its own as the wind again whipped up a fuss. The Bug squeeled and quaked with glee as one of its allies suddenly appeared.

Kakashi dashed in to save Iruka. He'd been watching entranced from the sidelines. Cupid's aim was perfect as it hit the Sharingan user a couple of times with its arrow. Kakashi was a hard nut to crack it took a lot of "oomph" and arrow power to get that bugger to fall in love. Kakashi fell to his knees gasping in unusual pain, a pain that reached all the way to his soul. His eyes were glued to Iruka. He was in love.

"Aw crap!" cried Iruka seeing Kakashi had been hit by cupid's diabolical arrows.

Iruka turned tail and ran. "Forget this. A shinobi knows when to strategically retreat. There is no dishonor in running away and coming back to fight another day."

"Iruka sensei, this year is your year for love." Cried the Love bug.

The chase was on. Kakashi was fast but Iruka for some reason was faster. Maybe it was because he was naked except for the towel around his waist?

* * *


	2. Finally In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Love Bug Continues Its Chase.

PART TWO

Iruka ran then transported himself to a secret hiding place that he only knew about from his years as a child. A secret hiding place he had never shared with or shown to anyone else before.

There he sat in thought and pondered. He still had Shibi Aburame's kunai and a couple of explosive tags he could use for his special "Bite of the Dragon –Incineration" technique. That might work. He brightened for a moment but that blasted Love Bug had other secrets of his own more of his "Shield of Love" and nothing could standup to that.

That Bug had been chasing him for years. What had Iruka ever done to deserve such a fate?

"Who needs love?" he asked darkly. "I know I don't. What did love ever do for me? What good was love? Where was it when I really had need of it?" he growled and stabbed the kunai into the forest floor. He loved a lot of people and he knew they liked him in return but not the kind of love the Love Bug liked to spread around. That kind of love was chaos and out of control, it was the kind of thing that brought nations to its knees. Iruka didn't need that kind of love.

"Poor Kakashi." He sighed. "Whammied to hell and back, how many arrows was that any way? Three? Five? A dozen? Poor fool."

"A fool in love with you." Said a voice of doom.

Iruka screamed like a girl and dashed out from his hiding place at a dead run he then transported himself to another hiding place.

"Forget it Ru-Ru." cried Kakashi. "You can't get away from me. I have a pack of ninja dogs at my beck and call. I'll hunt you down and woo you, my love." He screamed.

Iruka scowled. "We'll see about that." He smirked and was instantly in the safety of Moreno Ibiki's home. No one, Love Bug or a love sick shinobi would dare tress pass on Ibiki's property without permission. Lucky for Iruka he had an open invitation.

"Hello Big Brother Ibiki." Iruka smiled brightly; somehow he was able to bring off the innocent look quite well and convincingly.

Ibiki sighed; let his coffee cup slowly makes its progress back down to the waiting kitchen table, breakfast was set aside and his newspaper put down. "Hello Iruka. It's a very early morning for you to be out in your birthday suit."

Iruka blushed then giggled embarrassed. He borrowed one of Ibiki's old uniforms, still a might big on him and he had to roll up the pants legs to fit around his ankles. The pants hung off his hips enticingly. The shirt barely clung to his shoulders. He looked rather slinky and attractive in a messy kind of morning way.

"I hear the Love Bug has made an early appearance." Said Ibiki while preparing another warm mug of coffee for himself and for his "foster" "little brother" Iruka.

Iruka's dark look told him it was true. Ibiki shook his head and sighed. "This is really causing a problem Iruka. Maybe you should just give in. Love can be a wonderful thing."

"Save the lecture Bro." snapped Iruka for a moment his young punk spunk attitude made a revival.

Only to die a quick ruthless death at the hands of Ibiki's scowl, "Stow the attitude, Ru-chan."

Hastily Iruka took a sip of his coffee and sat down at the breakfast table, swiping bits of scrambled egg and pastry, nibbling cutely.

"Please do help yourself, have my breakfast." Smiled Ibiki in spite of a slight irritation at the actions of his little brother he couldn't help but be indulgent. Iruka was so cute.

After a little bit of eating and silence Iruka then looked sadly at the table and began to draw little doodles with his finger tip.

"What do I do Ibiki-niisan?"

"The Love Bug can't be killed Iruka. It's a necessary evil in life." Replied Ibiki.

Before they could venture into another debate there was a loud noise at the door.

"Ru-Ru! I know you're in there!" sang out Kakashi. "My pack dogs tell me you're inside. And Ibiki with you." Then suddenly Kakashi's tone changed as he started to frantically pound on the door. "You haven't left me for Ibiki-Moreno-Sama have you? Tell me it's not True Ru-Ru!" screamed the upset Jounin, ex-ANBU. "Tell me it's not true!" he sobbed wretchedly, screamed desperately. "Please, give me another chance."

Ibiki sighed. "Are you going to go out there and face that troubled soul or what?"

Iruka glowered at his big brother figure then stood up from the table and walked purposefully to the door and opened it.

"What the Hell, Kakashi?" He roared. "Stop embarrassing yourself."

Kakashi glared at the chunin but felt instead blood gush from both nostrils and fix him to the spot he kneeled in. Iruka was a dream, a sex god; he was more beautiful than anyone alive or dead. He looked like he'd just come away from sex. Kakashi knew he would die to have Iruka for his lover. He'd fight Ibiki for Iruka's love.

"Ibiki! How dare you touch my Iruka!" He roared. "I challenge you!"   
As Chidory came to screeching life Iruka kicked Kakashi in the face. Hissing, "Get a life."   
Then the door was slammed back into the door jam on Kakashi's prostrate form.  
Those cold cruel words of disgust were like kunai stabbing the distraught Jounin in the heart.  
"My Ru-Ru." He whimpered. "So cruel, so heartless." He sobbed.  
Confetti burst into colorful life around Kakashi as both the Love Bug and its accomplice, Cupid, showed up.

Kakashi looked at them with a hang dog expression. He was entirely love sick.

The Love Bug had a disturbing wide smile on its Beatle face. It sparkled in the fashion of Kakashi's fearsome rival the green beautiful beast of Konohagure, Maito Gai. Kakashi gulped back his tears as manfully as he could and he tried to inch away from the bug and its companions. He felt a trickle of unease as that smile seemed only to get more wide and sparkly.

Ibiki pushed and shoved then dragged Iruka out of his house.

"You can't keep running forever Iruka, face the Love Bug and embrace the life of love you deserve." Then it was Ibiki's turn to slam the door on Iruka. "Get this rabble out of my yard… or else." He growled as a last warning to all.

 

* * *

 

Iruka was sexy in Ibiki's loose fitting oversized clothes. His hair long and loose and gently swaying in the rising breeze. Even the scowl that graced his lovely countenance could not detract from his beauty. Iruka scowled darkly and resentfully at the house that had rejected him then he scowled at the beetle, cupid, Kakashi, and the rest of Konoha who showed up to watch this spectacle.

"Well you all heard Ibiki, why don't you all scatter already." He ordered with a raised voice but not a shout or scream. As the beetle and cupid tried to throw confetti and good cheer at Iruka, Iruka signed a new seal and breathed out a command. "Feathers of the Phoenix Flame - Burn Eternally, never go out as ash, only to rise again, and again, into eternal flame!"

The confetti as well as twigs and leaves began to dance around the two bearers of good Will and Love taking on flames of bright burning orange. The shinobi with any sort of good sense scattered as the flames sparkled around them like fire crackers, only the fire crackers didn't stop burning.

The Love Bug sang another song of love, bouquets of carnations in the colors of pinks, whites, and reds fluttered in the air now also taking on flame but the Love Bug was not yet defeated. It continued to sing a song of love until each and every orange flame was doused and did not make a return making it a lie of its phoenix name.

Iruka cried out like a wounded animal and shuttered. Iruka then continued his attack on the Love Bug. "Bite of the Dragon – Incinerate!" he screamed. Kunai with explosive tags flew unerringly towards the Love Bug and Company.

The love bug dodged the attack and let another wave of moving lyrics and sonnets of poetry rise in a chant of shielding love.

Kakashi whimpered and hugged Iruka's leg. Iruka stood panting breathing hard and bent over his knees still defiant not yet brought to his knees.

"You put up a good fight Iruka Umino-Sensei. But this year is your year for love and I, the Love Bug, will see to it personally that you shall have true love! Waterfall of serenity, of eternal quenching love, tame this one’s flames and heal his burnt heart."

Iruka screamed as he was hit by the full force of the Love Bug and Cupid's unerring arrows. He staggered and fell against Kakashi on the spongy grass.

It was strange this feeling. It hurt and yet it felt strangely wonderful. He looked into Kakashi's eyes and felt his breath catch as it never had before. He found he could smile. He reached out with gentle shaking hands and felt tears come to his eyes.

"Kakashi." He whispered in awe.

Kakashi smiled in return. "My Iruka." He murmured and reached out for Iruka's face. A thumb stroke gently over the tears and wiped them away.

"Oh Kakashi mine." Iruka whispered. "I think." He breathed shakily. "I think I..love..you."

Their faces had slowly closed in on one another till their noses touched and then their lips sealed all other words. Lips and tongue speaking for them both speaking the words of devotion that Iruka couldn't yet voice but could feel with all of his poor besieged heart.

Kakashi wept for joy then teleported the two of them directly to his bedroom where they soon made torrid, sweaty, passionate, loud and consuming love to one another for hours.

The poor neighbors would later chip in to by the loud couple a home at the edge of the city and as far away from their neighbors as possible so that they would have complete privacy for every carnal act they would perform on one another for the rest of their lives together.

 

* * *

 

The Love Bug dropped its guise and instead showed a couple of genin and an old Sennin a familiar person, in the form of Ebisu. "I told you." He said arrogantly. "I am a special ninja, nothing is past my abilities."

Naruto scowled and thumped the man. "Closet Pervert."

Sakura beamed. "It’s wonderful! It’s so wonderful. Iruka really deserves to be happy."

Sasuke's only comment was. "hmn."

Jeraiya laughed his head off and looked to Tsunade as she scraped up what little bit of money she had in her purse and a note for an I-O-U.

"But then who was Cupid?" asked Naruto suddenly very curious.

"I don't know, I have never asked him. He shows up only when a special assignment comes up that's soul goal is the furthering of love." Replied Ebisu, tears springing to his shade covered eyes. Cupid was a mystery within a mystery and a man to be respected whose soul goal in life was to further the causes of love.

 

* * *

 

THE END

* * *

Author Note: Cupid was really Cupid, Aphrodite's son and the God of Love, or as some suggest, Itachi. ;D LOL  
This fic was originally published on Fanfic.Net date: 01/30/2008  
I finally edited it and decided to post it here.  
Thank you for reading.  
sincerely,  
jazzy


End file.
